


Flash Fic #9  Sleepless nights

by flipflops



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Flash Fic, Kind of angsty, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1949592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflops/pseuds/flipflops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since Slade had taken her and Oliver changed towards her Felicity had quit sleeping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flash Fic #9  Sleepless nights

**Author's Note:**

> I just got last week's prompt done late last night. I decided to carve out some time, and since it's raining not a problem, and do this week's early. Sorry it's a bit angst-y. I am the same way today.

Sleepless nights...

 

It was 3 a.m. another sleepless night in Starling City for Felicity Smoak. She had been home from the lair for about an hour. She had showered, eaten some leftovers and was now in the middle of her living room surrounded by her LP record collection. She had a few thousand. She had been collecting them since high school. She adored older things, vintage things and these were her favorites. And tonight she would re-organize them. That was her new routine, organize and clean after Arrow business.

Her days started with her new role back in the IT department at QC, they weren’t stupid they knew they needed her. She discussed it with Oliver and he told her she should return. Not only did she need the money, he knew that one day it would be his again and he wanted her there. After work she would go workout and then train with Roy. Diggle was busy with Lyla and the baby, and well, Felicity avoided Oliver ever since the “I love you” heard round the world--or just her world. Whichever Roy even though training himself was working with her. 

After that they’d make their way to pick up food for everyone and then do what needed to be done in the lair. Some days she was alone there all night. Other’s the boys stayed in training. Oliver always broke things up at around 2 a.m. if possible. Then her REAL night time started. She would drive home and mentally pick a project. Anything to keep from sleeping. This was a routine she knew well. After her dad left them, she started doing this because then, just like now, sleeping hurt. The nightmares were awful but the worst part? That moment when she would first wake up, her nightmare no longer in her head, and she would think things were normal again. 

Back then it was that her daddy was still living with her. That she was safe, happy and cared for. Her reality was that her mom didn’t care. There was never enough to eat, never clean clothes or fun. Now, as an adult, she would wake up and for a split second, she would forget that Slade had wanted to kill her, that Oliver didn’t care for her as more than his IT girl and she knew now he would never love her. Oh, he didn’t say it but it was there in everything he didn’t say. HE was the one to train Laurel. He never touched her at all anymore. Not her shoulder, not her hands and definitely no hugging. They maintain a distinct distance at all times. It broke her heart. She hated it. She knew something was going to break, besides her heart. 

Felicity is a genius and she is smart enough to know things can’t keep going like they are right now. She can’t stand to see him train Laurel. She knows it’s not her place to complain or even care, but it hurts. Every time she hears Laurel laugh, then touch him and say “oh ollie” she wants to vomit or punch her. Instead, she pretends to wrapped up in her computer work. Digg will shoot a sympathetic look to her and Roy will scowl. It’s nice to know they care. 

Felicity decides she’s thirsty and leaves her spot on the floor and goes to the kitchen. She decides to have some lime water. It should hydrate her and keep her from sleeping. She can’t deal with the dreams, not tonight. She is too raw from seeing Laurel move in to kiss Oliver. Felicity quickly turned her head and headed back out of the lair. She had left her tablet and went back and--ugh. Stupid, stupid, stupid girl. She was making her way out of the kitchen and through the dining room when she saw someone in her front entry way which stood between her and the living room. There was only a single light on in the whole townhouse, in the living room. 

She slowly made her way closer to the person, mentally preparing for a fight. Then he turned, “Oliver what are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night!” She walked to him and was going to bop on the shoulder but thought better of it. He never actually rebuffed her touches but it was like he growled when she would get close, only a soundless growl, if that makes sense which it doesn’t, she shook her head to stop that train of thought. She looked up at him, “Well? you? here? why?” She moved around him, careful to respect his personal space and went to sit back in the middle of her collection. He followed. 

He walked over to her, and was towering over her. He was in street clothes. Dark wash jeans, a gray pullover with a white tee underneath and his boots. And somehow he was still sexy as sin. Damn it. She sat her water down and started looking through the LP’s again. Trying to ignore him. Soundlessly, he held her tablet out to her. She looked at it but not at him, “Oh.” She took it and moved up on her knees to sit it on her coffee table. Then plopped back down, “Thanks you can go now.” He didn’t move. She kept flipping through her LP’s. “And on your way out, could you please leave the key.” Still he stood and still she kept busying herself. She refused to break the silence and it was KILLING her. 

“Why don’t you sleep?” She was stunned. First, they didn’t talk anymore. Second, he broke the silence and that never happens and Third, how does he know? She looked up at him, “How do you know I don’t?” He drew in a breath, obviously not expecting her to ask that question. She waited, “I come here to check on you sometimes. The light is on most nights.” She shrugged, “sometimes I leave it on.” Not the truth but not a lie. “You’ve never lied to me before.” Busted, “It’s not a lie, just not the whole truth.”

“Before there was never a difference with you.” She grabbed another pile to thumb through, “there was never a reason for there to be--before.” She could feel the heat rising her was getting angry. “You are supposed to be the one person who doesn’t lie to me.” She stood up, “yeah well, you lied to me. Yes it was for a good cause but since I found out your secret you had NEVER lied to me either.” They were having a staring contest. She was tired. She wanted to just be able to leave all the baggage behind but here he stood. 

“i didn’t lie” He whispered it so softly she could barely hear him. She couldn’t help it, it was the sleep deprivation, too many emotions or maybe an emotional release she started laughing. He stared at her, “Why are you laughing?” She stopped, after a couple more minutes, “Oliver. Seriously? I know you suck at lying but really? I didn’t lie?” She started to move to sit again but he grabbed her arm, not painfully just enough to hold her in place, “It.was.not.a.lie.” She looked from his hand to his face twice. “Oliver, you could have told me the ENTIRE plan before hand. But you didn’t. I could have prepared myself--I know, you needed my real reaction. You could have just said he took the wrong woman--but you said those words.” 

She pulled her hand away. “Then on the beach, you could have said you were sorry and you needed to make sure he didn’t hurt,” she took a deep breath, “Laurel and we could have laughed but you didn’t.” She was sitting now. “You broke us--not US, US--but us. Our friendship. You didn’t trust me to help you keep Laurel safe. To save the city, you played me.” She was crying softly now. 

He sat down beside her and looked her in the eye, “I didn’t lie. I stood there and thought one or both of us could die, and I couldn’t die without you knowing that YOU are the woman I love. I knew I would die if you died so you had to know.” She just sat there shocked. He stood and made his way to the door, “I’m leaving this key here, maybe someday you can trust me with it again.” She looked at him, “maybe.” He looked back at her one last time before turning and opening the door, “Maybe some day you can believe me?”

She stood and walked to him, she was angry and loud, “If you love me, why are you training Laurel? Why are you kissing her? Why do you avoid looking at me, and touching me or even being in the same room with me?” She was breathing heavily. He was still looking at the now closed door. He slowly turned. His eyes were red rimmed and swollen. She hadn’t noticed before. She could barely notice it now. 

“I’m training her because I promised Sara.” He took a small step towards her, “I didn’t kiss her. I knew you came back” He said that more to himself. “She tried to kiss me, she misread my intentions. I told her my feelings have changed.”He took another small step this time he was right in front of her. “I avoid looking at you because I’m scared you will see how much I need you, want you and not as my best friend. I don’t touch you because I won’t be able to stop. Avoid the same room because I love you and it is selfish of me, to want you like I do.”

This time she was shocked, “isn’t it up to me to decide if you are selfish? Up to me to decide what I want? My life, my choice.” She raised her hand to his cheek, and he turned and kissed it. “I love you Oliver.” He looked at her, “Are you sure? I can’t handle losing you, if we go there, it has to be forever.” He was vulnerable to her in that moment, “You can’t get rid of me.” He smiled at her, she smiled back and that night they both slept in her bed, they both actually could sleep because they were both where they needed to be, with each other.


End file.
